(To me from me with love!) This is an open blog to me from me!
Dear Wendy
There is no denying the last six months have been difficult but
we are finally at the end of stage one ‘The Chemo stage’.
We know that together we have abused our body for the past
30 years, however, it really has held up this last six months when the demon
side effects of chemo have ravished us. The only people who understand what we have been through are
the fellow cancer sufferers going through chemotherapy. There are many and we wish those of you that
are in the same position or who have family sufferers all the best for health
and happiness in 2014.
What can we say Wendy that we haven’t already about phase
one? Eight rounds of chemo, on a three
week cycle that has taken us six months to complete. Six months of an up- hill struggle, a battle
Wendy that we have tried hard to hide from family and friends for fear of
watching them suffer but have failed miserably on occasions knowing they were
there to pick us up at our worst despairing moments.
The way to look at phase one ‘Chemo’ is that you need to
view it as the fuel to propel you into phase two, it’s necessary fuel that
allows you to get from A to B, but, it is also the most debilitating fuel that
drags you down and stalls your engine numerous times before you get to you next
destination. Wendy we cannot describe
fully the immediate after effects of each three week cycle of chemo from the nausea
that we went through, the painful headaches from wearing the cold cap, the pin
cushion feeling from the many veins that collapsed along the way, the painful
aches and flu like symptoms or the exhaustion we felt, but,Wendy we did it.
We have relied heavily on Joanne who has witnessed it all
first hand, giving up her life and moving in with us, sharing our worst
moments, always there to pick us up, watch us cry, make us laugh and help us
move on.
Wendy, we have never been emotional, we are more of a ‘chin
up’, move forward and get on with it sort of girl, yet there have been so many
moments over the past six months that sadness has got the better of us and we
have felt oh so broken. Somewhere though
our inner strength takes over and we hold our head high and we slowly, ever so
slowly continue to move forward.
Sometimes the stupid things have bothered us. We have kept our hair but lost all our
eyelashes which makes our eyes stream constantly and gives us a weird hooded look
that is unattractive and odd, that along with the moon face we have developed
from all of the steroids and the weight gain, which we definitely did not need
has added to our plight and although these things are all cosmetic which in the
grand scheme of things are totally unimportant, they have just added to the
overall consuming effects the ‘Bastard Cancer’ has taken from us.
We are about to head into Phase Two– Mastectomy week
commencing 6th January, followed by five weeks of intensive
radiotherapy every day. Wendy this is it, this is the phase that will
rid us of the evil presence of the ‘Bastard Cancer’. Yes, it will ravish our body, yes, it will be
painful, yes, it will be devastating, but, like the many other strong women that
have had it before us we will wear the scars and the mutilation of our body
with pride knowing we will conquer this terrible disease that affects so many. We feel strangely vulnerable now that the
chemo has stopped as bad as it was it kept the ‘Bastard Cancer’ away.
Our way of coping as always is to bring out our sense of
humor, think of the many new bra’s we will be able to buy, the fact that we
will no doubt lose a fair amount of weight in one go (they weigh a ton!) We therefore
will win slimmer of the week at least one more time at Slimmer’s World, (Is
that cheating!) To be fair we did win it
last week with our breasts still firmly attached!
Christmas is a few days away, we are having a quiet one with
Joanne, Sydney Biddly and Roxy Boo, nothing too grandeur, It will be a time for us to reflect on the
positive things the future holds, the many friends and family who have
supported us in our battle, a time of rest, a time of recuperating.
For all of our rantings and our sadness over the past six
months we have made it, we are proud, we, that is me and my ravished body are
ready so BRING IT ON!
We have tried to be honest in writing our blog, sometimes it
has been hard, but we have been truthful and honest to the way we have felt
along the path of phase one.
We wish those that have taken the time to read our blog the
very best for 2014. A very merry Christmas
and happy New Year.
We are doing OK Wendy we are doing our very best!
“Doing the best at this moment puts
you in the best place for the next moment”
Oprah Winfrey
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