Wednesday, 17 July 2013

Week Two - After Chemo - I'm Not Ill I just have this bastard called cancer invading my space!


Another bloody hot night, up and down, restless, could not sleep much but eventually I awoke to the sound of a thud of mail popping through my door and I thought I would share the eclectic mix mail I received today. 

 
·         Three lovely cards from three of my favourite people Jenny my beautiful step daughter, Jenny’s dad Dave who I spent my 20’s with and Irene Hassel Jo’s lovely neighbour from Chester who is so sweet and kind and was surrogate mum to Rosie and Sophie sausages when jo was in London.

·         Two wigs (absolutely fabulous!) These have definitely replaced shoes and handbags but I have yet to see any hair loss.  However, my hair cannot be treated so I now have black roots or to quote Billy Connolly “Hair like corn growing out of tarmac!”

·         A temporary Tooth filling – my filling dropped out and I cannot go to a dentist under chemo so will have to do it myself courtesy of Amazon tooth filling department (who knew they did that?)

·         A Avon Catalogue – courtesy of Kaye my lovely event manager at work with the strict instructions that orders have to be in by tomorrow

·         A Sample Tenna Lady Pad!? – Clearly heard about the celery story!

·         3 BILLS – NOW THAT’S MORE LIKE IT!  

 

So once again, I feel really well! I had breakfast outdoors with cousin Laurence and we discussed how I was feeling and the impact it has had on people who love me.

 
It’s a weird one because generally I feel really well, I do not have any symptoms either from the cancer or the chemo but people are worried sick about me and treating me with kid gloves.  I think it is because I am further down the road of dealing with the process than everyone else and they are coming to terms with it after me. 

 
I have had the most amazing well wishes from all over the world, from people who I have known for more than 30 years, have worked with, have cycled with, have been to school with and people who have read my blog but don’t even know me, people who I have cried with, laughed with and loved with and it has given me strength and pride and warmth that I have so many people rooting for me.  If I am honest though I feel as though I am cheating everyone as I feel so well that I can’t get my head around this ‘illness’ they keep wishing me better from.  Don’t get me wrong, I am not complaining just keep thinking about how well I actually feel.

 

The only symptom I currently have is dry, flaky feet but to be honest, dainty pretty little trotters have never been my thing; I have always had big plates of dry flaky feet!  

 

I know what you are all thinking, its early days, you wait until the 3rd and 4th rounds of chemo then you will understand where we are coming from.  But for now I refuse to acknowledge the list of endless side effects because I do not want to psychosomatically welcome them in any shape or form so at this point I have decided not to have any.  

 
Family, Friends, work colleagues past and present tonight I am going to have a little bit of what I fancy.  A soupcon (a thimble full) of G&T and then raise a toast in your honour of keeping me sane in the last two weeks, keeping my spirit alive and sharing the laughs and the love.

 

Cheers

 

Love Wendy x

Tuesday, 16 July 2013

Week Two - After First Chemo - It's just a process.


So today I thought I would try prunes! (Only joking!)

 
Yesterday put a smile on my face thank you for such great comments. Today I woke up feeling much better after a great uninterrupted (well apart from the normal twice loo break!) sleep and feel ready to face the ????

Therein lie’s my biggest problem by 7am I am normally on the road with a 90 minute commute in front of me cursing at drivers and thinking about the day ahead. The strangest transition for me is the leisurely way I get ready and eat breakfast only to then sit on my sofa to work.

I have put in a full day at the virtual office. Interaction with others cannot be under estimated and I miss the direct communication of colleagues in the office and the banter.  I had a conference video call with eight managers where from my laptop I can see the 8 people attending the meeting remotely. 

Good points:


Meetings are much more succinct and done in half the time; it’s really efficient and saves those that have to travel to meetings hours. 

Bad points:

It stops discussion in the same free fall way and there is no humour.  I miss office banter.  I have also become a newsreader, presentable from the top - make up on, hair done, presentable top half so that when I video dial into work I look the same but underneath are some old grotty leggings! I look a bugger from below but I have to say that this quite liberating and so comfortable.  I am going to struggle next week when I actually go into work and put on a normal pair of trousers. Maybe tomorrow I will try the frankfurter look from the Rocky Horror Show. Suspenders on the bottom half and business dress on the top so when I dial into the office no-one will know but me!  I mean it’s important to look good isn’t it! 

 

I still feel good today nothing health wise to report, other than still struggling to keep cool. 

 
My ‘talented actor’ cousin Laurence arrived to keep me company this evening. Janet loves him already on account he can charm
 

Great food, great conversation, great company, and Luther!

 

Sometimes the best medicine of all is just feeling comfortable in your own skin.  I am slowly adapting to understanding what has happened.  I am dealing with it as every control freak would.  I may even do a process chart soon and some graphs!  Because it is a process, Getting rid of cancer is a process, a long one but a process and I am one of the best project and process managers I know.  There will be good milestones, there will be some problems and I will move over them or around them but they won’t stop me from moving forward and beating it.

 

Love Wendy x

Monday, 15 July 2013

Week Two - After first Chemo


Positive Mental Attitude – I dare you to define it!

 

So yesterday when I went to bed I started reading about the nutritional aspects of dealing with cancer and foods that would help with eliminating chemo. ( http://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodanddrink/recipes/9189022/Eat-the-alkaline-way-recipes-for-a-healthier-you.html )

 

You probably already know I am a sugar junky and therefore this is really starting to cause me a massive dilemma as obviously you start blaming your lifestyle coupled with then linking that with what the ‘odds’ throw at you.  I am not a gambler but I am a risk taker and I have gambled my whole life on my health and totally gone with the notion of “a little bit of what you fancy does you good”. It’s one thing eating sugar and getting too fat, but another entirely if you think the grim reaper is at your door staring you in the face with the barrel of a shot gun. 

 

Now don’t get me wrong anyone who has sugar addiction, or any other addiction for that matter knows the stats, the overwhelming evidence of ‘this’ or ‘that’ contributing towards the slippery slope of poor health but do we do anything about it before it gets to this stage?  Well for most of us no, we attack it in fits and starts, I must do more at the Gym, I must drink less, I must eat less chocolate! I already had arthritis in my hands and that did not make me stop did it.

 

So the question is: Is now the time to make some fundamental lifestyle changes?  Have I just been in the lottery game and am I unlucky? Or could I have done something different?  Human nature – we beat ourselves up, we auto correct, we move forward.

 

Sometimes however, I am still a prize Muppet so whilst researching last night into sugar and how it affects cancer - (cancer cells have 30% more receptors so it can speed up the process of cancer cells multiplying – well I read this more than once).  I also then did the opposite and looked at foods that can add nutrition and slow down cancer cells from growing and the top food that came up was celery!

 

So not being one to do things by halves I promptly got myself downstairs and proceeded to eat at least 10 sticks of celery at about 11pm last night.  Now some of you may think this is comical or just downright desparate but having a positive attitude means at least trying to change, trying to get things right and in my own way this was an example of just that. Gone are the days of stuffing chocolate Brazils in my mouth or guzzling Cadbury dairy milk. I literally stuffed as many sticks as I could down my gob in about 10 minutes flat like a woman possessed.  Probably would have made the Guinness Book of Records if old Roy Castle had still been about!  Maybe he should have eaten more celery too.

 

Now I don’t know how many of you have ever eaten 10 sticks of celery in one go but believe me it’s a known diuretic and I swear I pee’d for the country last night in ten minute intervals and did not get a wink of sleep.  Not just a little piddle before bed as my mum use say but the sort that blokes have when they are so tanked up they cannot see and start peeing against a wall and it just won’t stop!  I think every toxic substance known to man has left my body over night; I must have lost 10lb in water alone. I was so exhausted this morning that I could have slept for a week!  So the moral of this little tale is still everything in moderation! I phoned my nurse at the cancer unit to tell her and she just pissed herself laughing and said “Wendy if Celery could get rid of cancer we would have understood it by now but it will give you a bloody good clear out”!

 

Defining positivity for me is just who I am.  I struggle with negativity at the best of times.  I don’t mean when we have a moan, that’s healthy.  I mean always looking for the best not the worst and when it comes to my ‘bastard’ cancer that means looking you straight between the eye mister and saying:

“I have spat little tosser’s like you out the whole of my life and my career!”

 

“YOU CAN’T DEFINE ME CANCER – DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM!”  

 

Love Wendy  x

Sunday, 14 July 2013

Day 7 - After First Chemo - First complete week done.


Feeling hot, hot, and hot!

 

My oh my, I can’t settle it’s too darn hot!  Spent most of today like a beached whale just trying to drink lots and keep cool same as all of you lot I expect!

Felt a lot better today but still cannot control the constant hunger driven from the steroids, give this another week and we may have to just get the bike out and leg it!

My hair is still in tack but a big chunk of eyebrow came away today, fortunately I have the original scouse dark hairy brow so a few won’t hurt I am sure.  I am going to save a fortune on threading and haircuts.

I start the 7-14 day phase post chemo when your body starts to lose white cells.  Bloody going to try and ignore it at this point as big working week ahead.   I was not much good with listening to people giving me excuses about why they could not come into work because of x,y and z before this and I know I am going to go into overdrive telling people to get a grip as that is what I try to tell myself.

Work ethic!  Thank god I had a mother who gave it me in abundance as I need it more than ever now.  I am not a martyr but I am not a bloody whimp either.   We need a massive week and everyone better just get on with it.

My breast has changed shape again today and the peau d’orange effect has most certainly grown, it feels uncomfortable I don’t like it, lumpy and I feel as if the cancer is an alien inside me – scary.  Well it can just go and F.R.O!

 

Love Wendy

Saturday, 13 July 2013

Day 6 – After First Chemo


Today Has Been A Game of Two Half’s!

 

First Half

 
I am struggling with the prospect of being honest with you all in my attempts to keep up the kick ass face, but, I think it is important to reflect the way I am feeling as the enormity of the responsibility of writing a blog that has received over 1800 page impressions means I can’t wing this one!  I think it is important to recognise that strength of character means that knowing when to show emotion as well.

 
So I woke up and bleated for half an hour, the sort of crying when you wake up when you lose someone, either from a broken heart or because they have passed away.  You wake up and remember like a sledge hammer coming at you full throttle what it feels like and that it has not subsided not one bit from the sleep you have awoken from.  It’s constantly on your thought ingrained in the back of your mind.

 
It was so hot today I felt flushed when I woke up and could not catch my breath but when you cry your throat seizes up and you start to sink lower and lower and it becomes harder and harder to breath.

 
I got up had a shower, put my face on ready to face the world, pulled myself together and rang Jo.  She always manages to put a smile on my face. I really did feel quite tired and had a distinct lack of energy.  I phoned the help line at the cancer unit because unbelievably after not having had a menstrual cycle for over a year and convinced I am on the change would you believe I have had one today.  (Sorry if this is too much information!)  I am telling you because this snapped me out of my gloom and doom mode when the nurse felt it was just my hormones kicking back in.   I think however, that the first round of chemo is working I thought its bringing me back whoop whoop!  Interestingly the pain in my shoulder which was also one of the symptoms has also disappeared and a reoccurring itch I have had on my back has completely gone this week as well.  It was an itch that over the past 4 weeks was constant and drove a special friend potty when I would scream at them to scratch my back quick as soon as I saw them.

 
I went to do some food shopping which completely wiped me out so much that had to come back and have a lie down.  It was the simplest of tasks which really tired me out.  Probably tired out everyone else who tried to shop today to so I am not looking into it too much.



Second Half

 

After another shower and a visit from my special friend (T) I feel on top of the world again, a person who is able to bring you calm and order and love is rare and I feel much more on top form again.

 I know that the steroids in the chemo have made me hyper all week and I think today is just about the aftermath of them wearing off.  I need a weekend of relaxation as I am going to need to conserve all my strength this week when the WBC  (white blood count) starts to dip and I feel tired.  I am a process person so know this is only going to be for a few days so I am prepared for it and am going to take the opportunity for once of slowing myself down.  For those that know me I don’t stop so just how long that will last for I don’t know.

 

 My sister has found our theme tune for the summer:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9-Lwpgfd1E

Rudimental - "Not Giving In" ft. John Newman & Alex Clare

I am not giving in – Never.

Love Wendy

Inflammatory Breast Cancer - Rare & Leathal.. I never knew it existed did you?


The facts:

Since I started this blog it occurred to me that I probably had not informed those of you that wish to know exactly what type of cancer this is and why it is so lethal to women and some men.  There are a huge amount of links out there that you could go to but below lists the main points.  It is important to understand it as it is one of the rarest and one of the most hard to detect of all breast cancers and so if this informs and educates then great.  It can be linked to weight something I have battled with my entire life, but it can also simply be that you are unlucky, a woman, a man, over 50, under 50 etc so this is not the time to over analyse and beat my- self up.  It’s just happened so I will deal with it.

So what is inflammatory breast cancer?

Inflammatory Breast Cancer


Key Points


  • Inflammatory breast cancer is a rare and very aggressive disease with symptoms that include redness, swelling, tenderness, and warmth in the breast.
  • Treatment for inflammatory breast cancer is usually more aggressive than treatment for most other types of breast cancer.

1.      What is inflammatory breast cancer?

Inflammatory breast cancer is a rare and very aggressive disease in which cancer cells block lymph vessels in the skin of the breast. This type of breast cancer is called “inflammatory” because the breast often looks swollen and red, or “inflamed.”

Inflammatory breast cancer accounts for 1 to 5 percent of all breast cancers diagnosed. Most inflammatory breast cancers are invasive ductal carcinomas, which means they developed from cells that line the milk ducts of the breast and then spread beyond the ducts.

Inflammatory breast cancer progresses rapidly, often in a matter of weeks or months. Inflammatory breast cancer is either stage III or IV at diagnosis, (I have stage III.), depending on whether cancer cells have spread only to nearby lymph nodes or to other tissues as well.

Additional features of inflammatory breast cancer include the following:

    • Compared with other types of breast cancer, inflammatory breast cancer tends to be diagnosed at younger ages
    • It is more common and diagnosed at younger ages in African American women than in white women.
    • Inflammatory breast tumours are frequently hormone receptor negative, which means that hormone therapies, such as tamoxifen, that interfere with the growth of cancer cells fuelled by estrogens may not be effective against these tumours.
    • Inflammatory breast cancer is more common in obese women than in women of normal weight.

Like other types of breast cancer, inflammatory breast cancer can occur in men, but usually at an older age (median age at diagnosis of 66.5 years) than in women.

2.      What are the symptoms of inflammatory breast cancer?

Symptoms of inflammatory breast cancer include swelling (edema) and redness (erythema) that affect a third or more of the breast. The skin of the breast may also appear pink, reddish purple, or bruised. In addition, the skin may have ridges or appear pitted, like the skin of an orange (called peau d'orange). These symptoms are caused by the build-up of fluid (lymph) in the skin of the breast. This fluid build-up occurs because cancer cells have blocked lymph vessels in the skin, preventing the normal flow of lymph through the tissue. Sometimes, the breast may contain a solid tumour that can be felt during a physical exam, but, more often, a tumour cannot be felt.

Other symptoms of inflammatory breast cancer include a rapid increase in breast size; sensations of heaviness, burning, or tenderness in the breast; or a nipple that is inverted (facing inward). Swollen lymph nodes may also be present under the arm, near the collarbone, or in both places.

It is important to note that these symptoms may also be signs of other diseases or conditions, such as an infection, injury, or another type of breast cancer that is locally advanced. For this reason, women with inflammatory breast cancer often have a delayed diagnosis of their disease.

3.      How is inflammatory breast cancer diagnosed?

Inflammatory breast cancer can be difficult to diagnose. Often, there is no lump that can be felt during a physical exam or seen in a screening mammogram. In addition, most women diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer have non-fatty (dense) breast tissue, which makes cancer detection in a screening mammogram more difficult. Also, because inflammatory breast cancer is so aggressive, it can arise between scheduled screening mammograms and progress quickly. The symptoms of inflammatory breast cancer may be mistaken for those of mastitis, which is an infection of the breast, or another form of locally advanced breast cancer.

To help prevent delays in diagnosis and in choosing the best course of treatment, an international panel of experts published guidelines on how doctors can diagnose and stage inflammatory breast cancer correctly. Their recommendations are summarized below.

Minimum criteria for a diagnosis of inflammatory breast cancer include the following:

    • A rapid onset of erythema (redness), edema (swelling), and a peau d’orange appearance and/or abnormal breast warmth, with or without a lump that can be felt.
    • The above-mentioned symptoms have been present for less than 6 months.
    • The erythema covers at least a third of the breast.
    • Initial biopsy samples from the affected breast show invasive carcinoma.

Further examination of tissue from the affected breast should include testing to see if the cancer cells have hormone receptors (estrogen and progesterone receptors) or a mutation that causes them to make greater than normal amounts of the HER2 protein (HER2-positive breast cancer).

Imaging and staging tests should include the following:


Proper diagnosis and staging of cancer helps doctors develop the best treatment plan and estimate the likely outcome of the disease, including the chances for recurrence and survival.

4.      How is inflammatory breast cancer treated?

Inflammatory breast cancer is treated first with systemic chemotherapy to help shrink the tumor, then with surgery to remove the tumour, followed by radiation therapy. This approach to treatment is called a multimodal approach. Studies have found that women with inflammatory breast cancer who are treated with a multi-modal approach have better responses to therapy and longer survival. Treatments used in a multimodal approach may include those described below.

    • Neoadjuvant chemotherapy: This type of chemotherapy is given before surgery and usually includes both anthracycline and taxane drugs. At least six cycles of neoadjuvant chemotherapy given over the course of 4 to 6 months before attempting to remove the tumour has been recommended, unless the disease continues to progress during this time and doctors decide that surgery should not be delayed.
    • Targeted therapy: This type of treatment may be used if a woman’s biopsy samples show that her cancer cells have a tumour marker that can be targeted with specific drugs. For example, inflammatory breast cancers often produce greater than normal amounts of the HER2 protein, which means they may respond positively to drugs, such as trastuzumab (Herceptin), that target this protein. Anti-HER2 therapy can be given as part of neoadjuvant therapy and after surgery (adjuvant therapy). Studies have shown that women with inflammatory breast cancer who received trastuzumab in addition to chemotherapy have better responses to treatment and better survival.
    • Hormone therapy: If a woman’s biopsy samples show that her cancer cells contain hormone receptors, hormone therapy is another treatment option. For example, breast cancer cells that have estrogen receptors depend on the female hormone estrogen to promote their growth. Drugs such as tamoxifen, which prevent estrogen from binding to its receptor, and aromatase inhibitors such as letrozole, which block the body’s ability to make estrogen, can cause estrogen-dependent cancer cells to stop growing and die.
    • Surgery: The standard surgery for inflammatory breast cancer is a modified radical mastectomy. This surgery involves removal of the entire affected breast and most or all of the lymph nodes under the adjacent arm. Often, the lining over the underlying chest muscles is also removed, but the chest muscles are preserved. Sometimes, however, the smaller chest muscle (pectoralis minor) may be removed, too.
    • Radiation therapy: Post-mastectomy radiation therapy to the chest wall under the breast that was removed is a standard part of multi-modal therapy for inflammatory breast cancer. If a woman received trastuzumab before surgery, she may continue to receive it during postoperative radiation therapy. If breast reconstruction is planned, the sequencing of the radiation therapy and reconstructive surgery may be influenced by the method of breast reconstruction used. If a breast implant is to be used, the preferred approach is to delay radiation therapy until after the reconstructive surgery. If a woman’s own tissues are going to be used in breast reconstruction, it is preferable to delay reconstructive surgery until after the radiation therapy has been completed.
    • Adjuvant therapy: Adjuvant systemic therapy may be given after surgery to reduce the chance of cancer recurrence. This therapy may include additional chemotherapy, antihormonal therapy, targeted therapy (such as trastuzumab), or some combination of these treatments.
    • Supportive/palliative care: The goal of supportive/palliative care is to improve the quality of life of patients who have a serious or life-threatening disease, such as cancer, and to provide support to their loved ones.

5.      What is the prognosis of patients with inflammatory breast cancer?

The prognosis, or likely outcome, for a patient diagnosed with cancer is often viewed as the chance that the cancer will be treated successfully and that the patient will recover completely. Many factors can influence a cancer patient’s prognosis, including the type and location of the cancer, the stage of the disease, the patient’s age and overall general health, and the extent to which the patient’s disease responds to treatment.

Because inflammatory breast cancer usually develops quickly and spreads aggressively to other parts of the body, women diagnosed with this disease, in general, do not survive as long as women diagnosed with other types of breast cancer. According to statistics from NCI’s Surveillance, Epidemiology, and End Results (SEER) program, the 5-year relative survival for women diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer during the period from 1988 through 2001 was 34 percent, compared with a 5-year relative survival of up to 87 percent among women diagnosed with other stages of invasive breast cancers.

It is important to keep in mind, however, that these survival statistics are based on large numbers of patients and that an individual woman’s prognosis could be better or worse, depending on her tumor characteristics and medical history. Women who have inflammatory breast cancer are encouraged to talk with their doctor about their prognosis, given their particular situation.

Research has shown that the following factors are associated with a better prognosis for women with inflammatory breast cancer:

    • Stage of disease: Women with stage III disease have a better prognosis than women with stage IV disease. Among women who have stage III inflammatory breast cancer, about 40 percent survive at least 5 years after their diagnosis, whereas among women with stage IV inflammatory breast cancer, only about 11 percent survive for at least 5 years after their diagnosis.
    • Tumour grade: Women with grade I or grade II tumours have a better prognosis than those with grade III tumours. Tumour grade is a term that describes what cancer cells look like under a microscope, with a higher grade indicating a more abnormal appearance and a more aggressive cancer that is likely to grow and spread. Among women who are diagnosed with grade I or grade II inflammatory breast cancer, 77 percent survived at least 2 years after their diagnosis, whereas among women who were diagnosed with grade III inflammatory breast cancer, 65 percent survived at least 2 years after their diagnosis.
    • Ethnicity: African American women who have inflammatory breast cancer generally have a worse prognosis than women of other racial and ethnic groups. Studies have found that around 53 percent of African American women who are diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer survive at least 2 years after diagnosis, whereas 69 percent of women from other racial and ethnic groups survive at least 2 years after diagnosis.
    • Estrogen receptor status: Women with inflammatory breast whose cancer cells have estrogen receptors have a better prognosis than those whose cancer cells are estrogen receptor negative. The median survival for women with estrogen-receptor negative inflammatory breast cancer is 2 years, whereas the median survival for those with estrogen receptor-positive inflammatory breast cancer is 4 years.
    • Type of treatment: Multimodal treatment of inflammatory breast cancer improves a woman’s prognosis. Historically, among women who had only surgery, radiation therapy, or surgery and radiation therapy, fewer than 5 percent survived longer than 5 years. However, when women are treated with neoadjuvant chemotherapy, mastectomy, adjuvant chemotherapy, and radiation therapy, their 5-year disease-free survival ranges from 24 to 49 percent. One long-term study found that 28 percent of women with inflammatory breast cancer survived 15 years or longer after they were treated with multimodal therapy.

Ongoing research, especially at the molecular level, will increase our understanding of how inflammatory breast cancer begins and progresses. This knowledge should enable the development of new treatments and more accurate prognoses for women diagnosed with this disease. It is important, therefore, that women who are diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer talk with their doctor about the option of participating in a clinical trial.

 


 

Friday, 12 July 2013

Day 5- After First Chemo

Bugger!

 
I had munches like you could not believe at 4.45am brought on again by this now constant queasy feeling in my gut but nothing half a pack of ritz crackers and a banana couldn't sort out!  I have made a good start and got my juicer out this morning and you will be pleased to know made a nutritional juice of: celery, carrots, apple, ginger, yellow pepper and beetroot and its surprisingly yummy as well so going to try and keep this up as cancer cells have 30% more receptors to sugar than normal cells and you are all aware that my addiction is sugar. I want to help myself so going to try and give it up but a little bit of what you fancy still has to apply!    

Jane and Mark left to go on to the Lake District and my wonderful neighbour Janet came across to see if I was ok.  Janet is a neighbour that in this type of circumstance just is there and she is one of my best friends in Nottingham. Always there, a great support.

 I have a small dilemma in that I cannot have dental treatment under chemo and thanks to my lovely sister giving me a midget gem to suck on I chewed it instead and brought a filling out.  I am going to have to buy a filling kit and try to do it myself.  In the days following chemo you can’t have any invasive treatment due to the possible infection that could enter your body because of low WBC. (white blood count)

 It's hot isn’t it so I think just like everyone else this is my main feeling for being lethargic and having a purple face!

 The  skin on hands and feet are getting very dry to be expected and my hair is still intact but feels a bit crispy at the roots don't know if it just needs a bloody good wash or its about to start dropping but I can wash it today so will keep you posted. First whiff off it going though it’s coming off and out will come the wigs. I am the biggest control freak going so IAM IN CHARGE! My long blond Dolly Parton might be a bit much for a first outing though!  Most important thing for me today and call me a shallow mare but the glamour has to come out TODAY, sitting around on my ar*e all day with no make-up on is just a big fat NO! So today ladies the lippy is coming back out!

I forgot to mention the biggest thing yesterday. I got a call from the Dr who missed the diagnosis apologising profusely. I explained that I did not cast any blame but that I wanted to see every Dr in the practice to lob my boob out and let them examine and see how easy it is to miss but I emphasised that I wanted to come to their next practice meeting to educate them. They are discussing it today let's see what happens as I will not let this one go. It’s easy to miss and I get it but let's all learn from it.  Funny my first job was a Dr's receptionist and here I am again organising practice meetings!

Work wise I am managing the way I always do, I manage five offices so at least four of them are always remotely so it has just turned into the norm for those people to be managed by phone or video dial in so in that sense nothing has changed. It’s a challenge for people at the moment to hear my news but everyone has responded brilliantly and all my work colleagues or right behind me all the way.


The hair and the face have not been done for three days I have been au natural!  Yuk not a good look for me lol.  However, working from home or not, the face and the hair being done are me so regardless of anyone seeing me or not so long may it continue that my shallow attempts at making my-self look good stay In tact !

Love Wendy

Thursday, 11 July 2013

Day 4 - After First Chemo

Hi everyone,

Well I have had a different day today again, in that I woke up shaking like a leaf and feeling as if I could not get my words out properly, felt very queasy again but still was not chucking up!  This was about 5am so was not pleasant, however after a large drink of water and a ginger biscuit (good for queasy feelings) I promptly went back to sleep and woke at 8am feeling much better.  I guess my blood sugars are all over the place by now as the chemo starts to leave my body.

I have felt a bit tired all day it must be all of the white blood cells dipping but I still put in a full day at the office (from my sofa!) marvellous what conference calling can do! I think its the new way of working and I have completed loads of odd jobs would not normally do from an office.

The best part of my day was when my life long friend Jane McKenzie and her partner Mark turned up at lunch time and have stayed with me all day and are staying tonight. What can I tell you about Jane, she is amazing having had her own battle in the past two years when she lost her son Jack McKenzie my wonderful godson in a car accident in August 2011.  This was devastating and Jane's spirit and the way she tackled dealing with such a  life changing tragedy has really made me stronger in getting through my own commencing battle..  I am blessed to have her and Mark in my life and know that we will be friends for ever.   Jack will be willing me and this will also give me strength.

I am still eating for England which some might say 'no change there then!)  But it must be my body's way of telling me to stock up for when there maybe times I won't feel like it.  (well that's my theory but I will probably have to have a word very soon!)  I am trying to be healthy and need next to think about what kind of exercise you can do from your couch!  No really I want to get back to riding my bike on good days with the wind in my face and colour in my cheeks.

Chilling out tonight with good friends what more could a girl ask for.

See you soon
Love Wendy

Wednesday, 10 July 2013

Part One - The news no woman wants to hear.


It’s been two weeks since I was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer and my world started to change.

Change can be good and I intend to make it good. I am 50 years of age, live in Nottingham in the UK, lead a busy and hectic life mainly centred around work, work, work, some might say too much. I am single, have no children and although have many many dear friends my sister Jo is my best friend in the world.

I want to share my journey with you as if it helps create awareness and inform other women to react and examine their breasts carefully then I think it will help me get through this.

So, here goes:

About 4 weeks ago I noticed a change in my breast, not a lump, more a thickening of the skin. I went to my Dr who took a look and said and I quote “you have heavy breasts its water retention come back in 3 weeks." I waited a couple of days by which time the skin had dimpled and started to turn red a bit like sun burn. I decided to go back saw another female Dr who took one look, sent me straight to a breast consultant and the journey begins from here:

Diagnosis: grade 2 stage 3 inflammatory cancer diagnosed on Thursday 27th June 2013 - in shock for about 2 days then something great happened; I entered into what I am calling my 'Warrior Mode' Fight, fight, and fight. This won't beat me, I am strong, I am focussed and I am facing a new future at the end of a long road.

Prognosis: It’s treatable: 6 months of chemo, mastectomy, 6 months of radiotherapy and finally a rebuild

Inflammatory cancer is a rare form of breast cancer, one out of eight women get breast cancer, frightening and 5% of these have inflammatory, its aggressive moves fast already in my lymph nodes but not in my organs or my bones, I have caught it as early as you can for this type of cancer.

On Monday 8th July I had my first round of Chemo which lasted for a couple of hours where the nurses made me laugh the whole way through. Wore a cold cap to prevent hair loss a sort of heavy boxers cap filled with a gel cooled to -25 (I will keep you posted on if it works and I get to keep my hair) However, just in case I have already bought 3 wigs in different colours and I intend to keep glamour and lipstick at the forefront of every session!) Day 2 following chemo, no real side affects to tell you about other than a bit queasy in fact I feel quite hyper. I am still working from home, trying to eat more sensibly but hey that's another story! One that has plagued me my whole life.

Since I have started to tell people I have heard so many wonderful stories that I feel hope, sadness, humour and above all courage from women, some of whom I have not met, some who I have known but never knew about their journey and so my goal is to spread news, inform, educate and generally share these moments with so many brave women. I am lucky, a wonderful sister, my step daugheter Jenny and my supportive family and many dear friends and colleagues who are right behind me and this will not beat me. It’s just one of life’s curved balls that are thrown at you now and again.

I am not a good writer but I can write from the heart, so please share my blog and let’s make it a place where we share laughter, love and stories, but mostly promote this terrible bastard CANCER that affects so many, so that diagnosis comes more early (sorry it will happen a lot me swearing!)

Two years ago I did a charity cycle around china which was the hardest challenge up to that point I had ever had, 60 miles a day for 5 days all up mountains, I was due to do another in Sri Lanka this September, sadly I will not be able to go swapping for a different challenge instead. However the charity was the wonderful Genesis Research Trust which is founded by Professor Winston and is aimed at women for women and the many health issues they face, cancer being just one. My many friends who are doing it again this year will be doing it for me and I will be with them every step of the way as they will be with me on my journey. (genesisresearchtrust.com)

So please join in and send me your thoughts as I embark on my journey.

Love Wendy x

 

Day 3 - After First Chemo

    
Well what can I tell you?

I read all the side effects: Exhaustion, sickness, Queasy, Loss of Appetite, and many more and read that everyone reacts differently so here is how I feel:

· Hyper - Think it’s my flight and flight instinct feel charged, talking more than normal which means that I talk annoyingly over people, not allowing them to finish their sentence before I am asking three more questions (no change there some might say!)

· Queasy - mildly the sort of feeling you have in the morning, not that you feel sick more the sort that you need to eat something which brings me onto my next point

· IM HUNGRY - pretty much all the time so it has not affected my appetite mores the pity, I may well be the only woman on chemo that actually starts putting on weight in the process. Oh dear. I don't care I have to keep my strength up and you will be pleased to know I am eating lots of fruit and veg, flax seeds and good stuff people have kindly talked about in terms of improving my nutrition.

· I have given up COFFEE and dairy milk - maybe this might linked to the hyper mode!

· I feel tired but think this is the amount of talking I mentioned before and do feel ready to collapse but my sleep pattern is all over the place

However, I am coping, my wonderful family, friend’s colleagues new and old are supporting me and I am feeling great.

Thank you for your comments, your love and your well wishes, short blog tonight as I have nothing more really to report.
Love Wendy