Friday 11 April 2014

Because I'm happy - Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof!

That which does not Kill us makes us stronger!- Friedrich Nietzsche

  • I was diagnosed with Inflammatory Breast Cancer - June 2013
  • 8 Rounds of Chemo
  • Radical Mastectomy & full lymph node removal
  • 15 Rounds of daily Radiotherapy
  • My Last treatment - 27th March 2014
  • Thank-you so much for all your support
  • Whoop whoop!


So there it is, my last treatment ridding me of my ‘Bastard Cancer’,  I feel as though I have been a hamster in a cage on one of those wheels with everyone gazing in.  Don’t get me wrong it was my decision to write a blog, I wanted to educate other women to check themselves and catch potential problems early and also help people understand what it feels like to be diagnosed with breast cancer. 

Truth be known I also wanted it to be cathartic an expression of my emotions as I was feeling them that I could look back on and see my own journey as often when you are living it you are just going through the motions.

Today, I feel mixed emotions, really relieved and proud that I have come out the other end after the longest of nine months of my life but really scared that after all that I am not cocooned in the safety of treatment and having to go back to the reality of life, I don’t want to live my life scared and waiting for the cancer to return so after discussion with Joanne we have decided that the best way to tackle it is to think of the last 9 months as wiping the slate clean and therefore, I, like the next person may end up with another cancer or not.

So what did I learn?
  • ·       I learned that I could not have done this without my sister Joanne who has been my rock and is the best sister anyone could wish for
  • ·       I learned what amazing family & friends I have are near and far, new and old who have supported me through the last 9 months and I can’t thank you enough with your kind words and encouragement
  • ·       I learned that I have an amazing network of people on line through my blog and face-book who have really supported me in my hour of need and I have really appreciated it
  • ·       I learned that there are many different types of breast cancer, I never knew this before and that one out of every eight women are diagnosed, this means that most of you will have someone in your immediate family or friends who will get it and if my blog makes all women check themselves then I will consider that it has worked
  • ·       I learned that the type of breast cancer I have which is invasive inflammatory breast cancer is quite rare only affecting 5% of the above
  • ·       I learned that I there are four contributory factors in the type of breast cancer I have, these are;

o    too much Oestrogen produced, I will be on a drug called Anastrozole which will inhibit this
o   too much sugar intake (I practically lived on latte and cake) which lead  to;
o   too much weight gain common to women who get inflammatory breast cancer
o   Too much stress – I had a difficult job and don’t get me wrong I loved it but there was too much travel, too much stress and mess and I know this is no good for your health (money means nothing – you cannot put a price on health)
  • ·       I learned that chemo therapy is as crap as they say, you can’t describe it unless you have gone through it
  • ·       I learned that chemo therapy turned me into a monster due to the steroids and I apologise profusely to my sister who bore the brunt of it!
  • ·       I learned that despite me keeping most of my hair, my bloated face, my loss of eyelashes and the two stone I put on because of the steroids, that this made me feel more sad than ever and I am a little ashamed to be so vain but the eyelashes have grown back, the bloated face has nearly gone and I am craving a bit of glamour in my life and if that sounds shallow well hey I will live with that!
  • ·       I learned that having a mastectomy is actually not so bad but being lob-sided is and I can’t wait for my reconstruction/reduction
  • ·       I learned that I am very creative in terms of the use of the many lovely scarves I have accumulated in the past couple of months
  • ·       I learned that radiotherapy is a bloody doddle compared to chemo a bit like getting lightly burned in the sun
  • ·       I learned not to eat too many sticks of celery (see previous blog!)
  • ·       I learned that I can laugh in the face of adversity
  • ·       I learned that I am a strong woman, and that I have an inner strength I didn't know I had, and to coin a phrase ‘you can break down a woman temporarily, but a real woman will pick up the pieces, re-build herself and come back stronger than ever!’  - I  like to think I am a real woman!


So what’s next?
Once my body has healed from the mastectomy and radiotherapy I will have the next phase of reduction which will be in June and reconstruction which will be towards the end of the year so it’s a long, process.
I did ask did I choose a new pair of boobs from a book like when you chose a new hairstyle but I don’t think it works quite like that! I will be grateful for whatever they can do.

Over the next few weeks I am going to be in training for my charity bike ride, women v cancer - ride the night, which let me tell you I would have found difficult before the last 9 months so I know it is going to be challenging picking myself up and starting to train, however, I really feel that when I cross that finish line, however long it takes it will  be the final kick of ridding myself of this evil disease and I will be doing it for women just like me. I know it is going to be so emotional but it will be an amazing night of shared experience riding with an amazing group of women the most important of which is my sister Jo. 

If you could see your way to sponsoring this I would really appreciate it, thanks to those of you who already have.


I am losing weight with Slimming World and my group leader Debbie Wilson is collecting for my bike ride which I am really grateful for, I have to say I am really enjoying the diet and have already lost 26llb through the support of the group.

For now though I am going to book in for a long awaited bit of pampering starting with a facial.

Talking of which:
'A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.' — Eleanor Roosevelt 



I will end with an uplifting playlist which I will be dancing around my kitchen to this weekend with Jo and the sausages hope you will be dancing with us…..


Kelly Clarkson - Stronger (What Doesn't Kill You) - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn676-fLq7I

 


Pharrell Williams – Happy - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgHGjM4GnE4

 

Roxy Music - Dance away - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMSeOFyskRk

 

Rudimental - "Not Giving In" - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J9-Lwpgfd1E

 

 

 

 

 

 

 





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