Well I always said I would have to go through a couple to understand the patterns and the ups and downs of the process. Yesterday was the same dip as round one in that the couple of anti-sickness drugs wore off and I did not use the emergency supply they gave me quick enough thinking I was king of the bloody world as usual. The consequence of this is:
Shakes
Nausea
Sickness
Low mood
But today:
I am back on it. Feeling much better, Poor Jo has left the building for a much needed rest and I am working from home. Now this time round in the first chemo round you will remember, it was my now infamous celery story so I am going to have another bash at it because it cleared the nasty chemicals out albeit over night last time and I felt much better, but now I know to have it for my lunch instead! so guess whats on the menu for today!
I see myself in many ways throughout this process: Being strong, being independent, being positive, being able to function and to continue to do my job well, managing my health, etc. I do sometimes have trouble with remembering it's OK and normal to have off days, I like to think I am superwoman but the reality is I am not. I am Wendy with "Bastard Cancer". I have also under-estimated what this may be doing to those around me particularly the people I am most close to, particularly to my doting sister Jo. I am not the easiest person to be around when I am on one. Steroids definitely put me on one! I have to thank my blessings that I have good support from her and my other close family, Jenny, Tee, Cousin D, Janet my super neighbour and friends and colleagues near and far and I once again thank you for your continuing support of me, it is keeping me going. Keep it coming.
"My bastard Cancer" has no support, it's being knocked down bit by bit
I leave you with my thought for today:
It's how I see myself that counts - And I see myself as a fighter who is winning. I will never be a victim. NEVER NEVER NEVER. Now where have I put the bloody celery!
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